Take your health into your own hands

Take your health into your own hands

Take your health into your own hands

Love and sexuality: the two dimensions of relationship

Can one love a person without having any kind of sexual relationship with them ? Or, conversely, can you have relationships with a person you do not love? How and to what extent can love and sex be experienced separately? These are some of the most famous questions that human beings ask themselves when they find themselves thinking about the relationship. Let us assume that each type of relationship, whether a young relationship, a decade-long marriage, or a summer-long experience, has its own identity and cannot be compared to another. Therefore, there is no definite and certain answer to the dilemmas posed above. In fact, a sexuality can be completely unrelated to a loving relationship, just as a loving couple can feel happy even without an actual sexual experience.

Love

In a general sense, a loving relationship implies a desire to make one’s partner happy by paying attention to the other’s needs and wants, as well as conveying a sense of protection toward the person one loves. Love understood in this sense is detached from immediate sexual gratification. It is a mix of passion and desire, confrontation and attunement, between two people who share the same path for better or worse. Love, however, has much to do with sex.

Sexuality

In spite of this premise, we can therefore say that although sexuality may be absolutely free and untethered from any relational context, its full expression is nevertheless expressed in the context of a satisfying affective relationship. But, as already mentioned, sexuality becomes a crucial element in proper love relationships as well. In fact, when it is unexpressed or disregarded, it can become a reason for conflict in the couple. Conversely, however, sex can also be a reason for reconciliation when it is understood as a rewarding and restorative mode.

There are couples who manage to experience a very lively and intense sexuality despite having a very conflicted and thorny relationship in their daily lives. Others, on the contrary, despite having deep synergy in everyday life, rediscover themselves as fragile and aseptic in sexual expressiveness. Love and sexuality thus represent two deep dimensions of human beings, and they escape any kind of categorical and fixed classification for any individual, but their expression varies unpredictably from one relationship to another. What is important is to find the right balance within the couple, both sexually and emotionally, so as to make the relationship as stable and fulfilling as possible.

Why in summer the couple breaks out

Stating that couples break up more easily during the summer season is not a cliché, but a fact now supported by authoritative scientific studies. There may be many reasons for this, but underlying it is a substantial one: even a few days of close living can bring latent problems and conflicts out into the open.

In fact, if during the year work and the commitments of daily life keep the various misunderstandings in abeyance, everything changes drastically when you are alone for so many hours, under a beach umbrella or on a mountaintop. Sometimes quarrels begin as early as the decision of the destination of the trip to be taken together. And the reasons for disagreement then continue for a whole series of seemingly very trivial pretexts: clothing, the friends with whom one wants to share some or all of one’s days off, the preferences and habits chosen daily for one’s summer leisure.

For example, 65 percent of women like to be in the sun at least 5 hours a day, while men endure much less (43 percent less than 3 hours). And if he is bored sunbathing (53 percent), only 4 percent of women consider the beach a waste of time. For her, sunbathing is above all, complicit with sunbathing, a real beauty cure (58 percent), as well as a way to relax (38 percent). But theres more: it turns out that only 12 percent of women like to go to the beach with their partner, while 20 percent of men say they are inclined to bask in the sun next to their woman. It follows that this all affects what the couple considers to be the overall perception of the vacation, during which the main need for both of them is to disconnect from the hectic pace of everyday life, but which is impossible if one cannot understand the other’s point of view.

For some years now, then, misunderstandings have also come from excessive technology, and the constant browsing of chat rooms and social media. In the summer, the couple should force themselves to disconnect as much as possible, and instead connect with the person with whom they have chosen to share their lives. And vacations can be the optimal means of finding, or rediscovering, communication unmediated by new technologies. In summary, these are the experts’ suggestions:

Listen to yourself

Take advantage of the vacations to ask ourselves and our partner, “What can we do to improve the couple’s understanding? What desires can be realized together?” Therefore, doing without smartphones can also be helpful in figuring out where one stands in the project of life for two.

Rekindling desire

According to a U.S. study, it appears that 16 percent of men suffer from a total lack of sexual stimulation toward their partners due to too much time spent posting and tweeting. Nothing beats reclaiming your intimacy starting with the holidays–avoiding bringing technological tools to bed.

Rediscovering the pleasure of convivial moments

It may benefit the couple to rediscover dining out in a cozy, romantic setting. The cell phone must strictly remain off, focusing only on the partner.
And if all that is not enough, let us prepare to consult a good divorce lawyer. It is no coincidence that the largest number of separations are initiated by Italian spouses, but not only, just after returning from the vacations.